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Bloke jokes
- My
wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's,
I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is
in Sydney and mine is in Melbourne.
- I
take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
back.
- I
asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she
said. So I suggested the kitchen.
- We
always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
- She
has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets
and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric
chair.
- Remember....
Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically,
100% of all divorces started with marriage.
- I
married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name
was Always.
- I
haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like
to interrupt her.
- The
last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on
the TV?" ... I said, "Dust!"
- In
the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God
created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since
then, neither God nor man has rested.
- Why
do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to.
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