Stuff to Ponder

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Stuff to Ponder

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
I voted for the Democrats because I didn't like the way the Republicans were running. Which is turning out to be like shooting yourself in the head to stop your headache.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man'sability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are OK, then it's you.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, "Oh no ... I could be eating a slow learner."