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Insanity
How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car
w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't
disguise your voice.
- Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
- Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you
in a little synchronized chair dancing.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and
label it "IN."
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Put decaf in the
coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks,
write 'for sexual favors.'
- Reply to everything
someone says with, "That's what you think."
- Finish all your sentences with "In
accordance with the prophecy."
- Adjust the tint on your monitor so
that the brightness level lights up the entire work area.
Insist to others that you like it that way.
- Dont use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than
walk.
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
hysterically after they answer.
- Specify that your drive-through order
is "to go."
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why
the poems don't rhyme.
- Find out where your boss shops and
buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after
your boss does. (This is especially effective if your
boss is of the opposite gender.)
- Send e-mail to the rest of the company
to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If
anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends
you can't attend their party because you're not in the
mood.
- Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
- Call the psychic hotline and don't
say anything.
- Have your co-workers address you by
your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the ATM,
scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd
time this week!!!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running
towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives,
they're loose!"
- Tell your boss, "It's not the
voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your
head that do."
- Tell your children over dinner.
"Due to the economy, we are going to have to let
one of you go."
- Every time you see a broom, yell
"Honey, your mother is here!"
And the final way to keep a healthy level
of insanity....
Send this list to everyone in your address book, even if
they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff
like this.
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